" A man flies higher, runs faster. We forget the reason why. For the moment of the race outweighs the purpose. This is always so."

- a quote given to me to ponder about by Mary-Anne.


So apt the timing this quote was given to me. It just describes what everyone is like now. It is just not the point, not the way to do things. And I HATE how all this have turned out to be. (judging judging judging, not competition competition competition)


To my TWE juniors who came to talk to me about people being sad and angry at each other before the SYF, it happens in JC too.

Sofa king annoying, this SYF has become.


Till again.

Well well well.


I'm like blogging in my room, with my own com? And that just rocks. Woohoo. But its only for 60 days, so I"ll try to make do and make the best out of it.


I've been feeling slighty down the weather, not by some lovely dovey crap, but jsut the usual sore throats and lack of sleep I guess. But I'm still me, bitchy as ever. Thought of something like this when I was on my way to tuition.


Last week, while I was taking my seat at the tuition centre, some girl told me this: " I'm sorry, someone's sitting here already."

But me being nice, said sorry and sat elsewhere.

DARN me, I should have said something like:" Really now darling, but I don't seem to see your little friend who's already sitting here. Is he invisible? Aren't you abit too old for imaginary friends?"

Heh, that would be so mean, but I couldn't bring myself to say that.

Now having changed my tuition venue to Tampines, its still about the same, same types of people. There's this girl, who's super glam. I have no idea how to decribe her, but its just too darn glam. Wonder where she goes before and after tution. Some clubs or shopping at town? Its like weird lil handbag, glam glam blouses and all. Then, there's this Fmaths guy who's taking C math tuition. If that's not kiasu, I don't know what it is.


Then on the papers there's the guy who's onlysec 1 and is taking A level math and passing it. What's up with people like that? I'm impressed, but where are they going to be when they grow up. With that much headstart in life, would they have much to look forward to later on? Its like in the comics that day, what would you look forward to when you explore the world at a young age? I'm looking forward to the day I perform at the Esplanade, and have a solo too. I look forward to the day I get my first paycheck, and treat my family to a dinner. I look forward to the day I am finally married to someone whom I'll spend the rest of my life with. Sounds darn girly, but hey, its a vision.


Fame and glory, none of which I want much. But simplicity maybe. Since nothing gold can stay.

Nothing Gold Can Stay.
Nature's first green is gold,
Her hardest hue to hold.
Her early leaf's a flower;
But only so an hour.
Then leaf subsides to leaf.
So Eden sank to grief,
So dawn goes down to day.
Nothing gold can stay.

-Robert Frost


Dug out this poem from my sec 2 literature text. Excellent stuff.


Till again.

Its 2 am and I'm awake.


Wow. Well, if you slept the whole evening away, its not a suprise if you're not sleepy anymore. Especially if you had been feeling half-sick for the past 2 days. Yeah, half-sick, the only way I can describe it.


Yesterday was the band exchange. Baolun(changed in case she starts nagging again.) was right, only 2 things can happen after that: either we get super demoralised by all the other bands, or we just feel good about ourselves. Amazingly the apparent good acoustics of our hall made us sound better than we did, but that's all I can say for my part. I don't think I'm on any grounds to comment on the other bands, we ain't fantastic either.


Meiyin and I were contemplating about how dark life seems to be now. Both of us came a long long way, since kindergarden to JC, ups and downs, we realised how people change too. Freaky as it can be, as we grow up we seem to see more scheming idiots who are constantly either out to kill you or irritate you to death. Some of us are so caught up in the trivalities of daily grind that we become absolutely, what's that word, petty over single little things. Yucks to them.

So until I get proper rest and enough time to get on the com, sicne the whole of next week's gonna be band prac every evening,


Till again.

Some people are like this, they can't bring themselves to like the person so much, that they end up hating the person. Even though they were once friends. Close friends or not doesn't seem to matter anymore, nor who you are.


I think I'm turning into one of these people.


Till again.(?)

I've reached 10,000 visitors! Congrats congrats. A big thank you too all those who constantly view my blog. Hope I would not degenerate this blog due to lousy school work..


Why I wonder, do some people really don't bother about how they look?

Today on the way to school, I saw this guy, erh, well we would call him "a nerd". You know, the high pants, boring glasses, big backpack and kuku hair. Ya, that's the look. I really wonder, why doesn't he bother about how would people look at him? Or does he even know that people look at him that way? He's definitely not the trend follower.

The only thing that comes to my mind when I see him, besides "fashion disaster" would be "You laugh at me because I'm different, but I laugh at you beacuse you're the same". People aruge, well its the in thing to look like everyone else; its a fad to wear those rubberbands with words that we probably don't believe in; its the way to flow and go to wear pants off our asses; and all those jazz. I'm a victim of these, maybe a blind follower too. I don't know who to blame, the society for having the beliefs of conforming and the vision of similarity, or myself for falling into this vicious trap. But I don't wear bands, I don't always spike my hair, I don't follow every mental trend I see. Excuses excuses, like those we claim we don't study so we can fall back on when we don't do well for tests.

And the world spins on while I'm ranting over here. Its another thing, that we can try as much as we can to make a difference to ourselves but the world wouldn't give a hoot.


-"So we've been told and some choose to believe it. I know they're wrong wait and see." Kermit the frog, Rainbow Connection.-

Such a simple song, with such good lyrics. Gotta love it.


And credits to Miss Tan Juling for that wonder photo of me in the corner under profile. That's the only nice part of my whole face I think..


Till again.

Ms Universe Wannabes~

The results are out!

Wee, cheer and do the jiggle! Here are the final three winners after rounds of deliberations.

In third place, Ms Pose-pose-alot-when-she-thinks-no-one-is-looking!


Second place, Ms In-denial-and-trying-to-blend-with-uncle-reading-newspaper!


Winner, we have Ms Too-many-of-her-pics-on-my-blog-and-still-going-to-have-more!


Haha, exciting no?
I think so, look at me smile.



I love the headband. Its not mine by the way.

Till again.

Special thanks. Happy shiny people.

Thanks to all those who remember and sent me a message, its funny adn ncie to see 6 messages when you wake up in the middle of the night. Thanks again.

And Aaron, its not belated. So relax.

Thanks again for all the presents, doesn't have to be big or elaborate know. I can settle for a card pretty well. Will post pics of presents I received. Thanks again.

Remember, someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection, the lovers, the dreams and me.

Till again.

Why do people become Idols?

Be it singapore, amercian, malaysian, indian, eskimos, or any nationality, I always wondered why? Simon Cowell said this to one of the wannabes : "You will win the competition, you will sell more records than any other winners on this show."

Made me wonder again, so they're winning to sell records and make a hell load of money? So what happened to the idol dream and all that jazz? Did they want to feel the glory of performing, or just the sound of cash jingling in?

Frankly, I never did see the point in this idol business. You sing, people either go nuts about you, or they bitch about you. But after winning this idol business, either you're from US and make it real big, or you just remain a small fry in your country. If I had a chance, I'll never do it. Why put myself under the scrutiny of the media and public for every single action of mine? A total loss of freedom I say.

Donated blood again today. As the guy said today, donating blood is something we give without getting anything back in return. Its like charity, if we don't count those greedy pigs who go donate blood to skip lessons or get the milo and biscuits. Somehow, I enjoy giving blood. No I do not have a fetish of pain and seeing my blood drip. And it saves lives. So do donate blood. It does not hurt. Haha. I sound so godly.Wee. Remember, if you need more encouragement, remember karma. Do good, and good does you.

I'm in love.

With this song, Rainbow Connection.

Why are there so many songs about rainbows and what's on the other side?
Rainbows are visions, but only illusions, and rainbows have nothing to hide.
So we've been told and some choose to believe it.
I know they're wrong wait and see.
Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection. The lovers, the dreamers and me.

Who said that wishes would be heard and answered when wished on the morningstar?
Someone thought of that and someone believed it. Look what it's done so far.
What's so amazing that keeps us stargazing and what do we think we might see?
Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection. The lovers, the dreamers and me.

All of us under its spell. We know that it's probably magic.
Have you been half asleep and have you heard voices? I've heard them calling my name.
Is this the sweet sound that calls the young sailors.
The voice might be one and the same.I've heard it too many times to ignore it.
It's something that I'm supposed to be.
Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection, the lovers, the dreamers and me.
Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection, the lovers, the dreamers and me.

Till again.

Every band member lives for a performance, a resounding applause. At least I do.

More than that, I live for a solo to be played, but its not going to be fufilled anytime soon. Besides the last performance ever thing, its just I'm not that inclined to be up and out there. Its a challenge I've not met up with, like all the others I've faced. Oh well.

Who can ever forget, the moment we stand of stage, as a performer with people cheering you on? The brief moment of estacy, as brief as 8 minutes. We're like soldiers, living only for the battle on the battleground. And as musicians we live for that moment on stage. One shot, one kill, one chance. One note, one chance. There's no turning back, and its onward with the song. What I've learnt is to perform and play. People have mentioned that they're sick and tired of this judging thing. But I live for that moment, not to be judged, but to understand how much we've progressed. People are so stressed by the judgment passed, that this very innocent initial motive of judging the level of one to see how much higher we can go, not to distinguish. Its so tedious to maintain a standard, that it becomes a chore. A sickening chore that people get too highstrung over it.

My junior commented that I looked like a kid waving to them yesterday. Who can blame me? I live for the moment of seeing them doing their best, performing and showing off what hard work they've put in. Its a joy of a senior I guess, to see their kids in the uniform we were in, the seats we sat and with the insturments we passed to them and achieved. Its a legacy we gave them, but now its like a burden. I wonder if its a right decision to be successful.

You know, I'm not the type to usually lament about how sad my life is and how difficult times are for me to pull through. I just don't find the, what's that word, point(?) to publicise to the world how sad I am, as if in hope for an ounce of pity. But today's weird. During lessons, I had this sudden wave of sadness rushing over me, as if all these bad memories flooding back into me. Azhar had a term for it, for which I can't recall, and if you do, please comment it down, not in the tagboard please. Its as though, like in Harry Potter style, a dementor just nearby. Its probably a Ying and Yang thing, too much happiness yesterday, backwash of sadness today to even out. I'm a strong believer in karma see.

I keep telling myself, that we can always take things two ways, the easy way or the hard way. Like falling down and getting bruised and cut. We can cry and sob over the pain and cuts, or thank the people around who helped us up. But out of the things I've been through, I seem to always take the hard way, of getting up alone and biting myself on the lip. You taste your own blood, you feel your own pain.

I want to be not myself one day. I do not want to be sentimental, nor do I want to be sensitive to people. I do not want to be the nice guy, nor bother about what I bother usually. Somedays I feel that what you believe in, doesn't believe in you in the end. Its like running a treadmill. You put in effort, but gets you nowhere. But life just goes on, with, or without you.

Right now, I need a real pick-me-up to get me back on track. Its a high chance of the absymal block tests results I gotten, or I'm just an idiot harping on past that doesn't bother about you anymore. I'm back to square one. We're back to square one. And that's after getting to square millionth.

Its just one of those days. Don't pity me. But do read into what I say.

Worry is like a rocking chair, its gives you something to do, but gets you nowhere. Again.

Till again.

For Juling, in case she throttles me or something.



I'm so ugly. Darn. But I love her. Heh.


Till again.

MJC band camp version 1. Weewoo!


Dial M.

Started off real corny, but ended as a DARN fun game. Kudos to the games comm. Games comm rock always~


So band camp ended, games played, jokes told, people laughed, people snored and most of all we had fun. Cat and mouse is a addictive and exciting game now eh.


As usual, there are photos taken, so here's the link:


http://www.imagestation.com/album/pictures.html?id=2128317887

And happy birthday Baolun. Spot her in the pics, Baolun with balloons.


Enjoy

Till again.

Sunday morning rain is falling~

That's so today.


And this is so random.


All I can say after reviewing my sitemeter, either some MJC loving freak is constantly looking for blogs form MJC, or teachers want to know what are we talking about them. Poor insecure people they are. Even I feel sorry for them. Heck, they even typed "read mjc students' blog" on yahoo. Oh please, if you do not have anything bad for us to bitch about, we won't have anything to say. And I wonder how much stuff have they found out. Nothing they can really do to me, except the GP department penalising me for my horrible use of english and grammar and vocab and what-have yous. I'm sorry by the way, if you are reading this. I can't really help it. But if you are out to kill people with bad english, do hop along to those (no offence really) teeny girly bloggys who go punctuationally crazy with their "...." and "z"s at the end of every sentence. Waste of online space I say. Shan't imitate that, since someone already has done so.


And off to bed I go, as I "welcome" the beginning of another school week. Hooray.


Till again.

Dear girl,

I may not know you now, but someday we will,
And with you my heart you'll fill.
But please remember that all I am is just a boy,
One who can't really be separated with his toys.

I may not say the nicest things always,
But I would tell the truth to you anyway.
Neither would I know the answers to all questions,
Though I know I would learn them with you in life's lessons.

At times I may just be too blunt with words which is quite misleading,
And I really hope that you can remember and be forgiving.
For all I am is only a boy who learns from falls and tries to stand tall,
But really, underneath I may be nothing at all.

We'll sit together on sidewalks and fields,
To gaze and stars and I'll wonder what you'll feel.
I'll let you lie on my shoulder if you're tired,
I'll try to listen to all your problems while keeping very quiet.

I'll try to remember your favourite food and colour,
Though I may only remember for just an hour.
I'll try to be the friend you never had,
Yet still the choice you'll never regret.

All I need from you is just company and to hold my hand,
Support, trust, and maybe even understand my passion for my band.
I hope when we do meet I would not blush,
Cos I think, or rather know that you will make my heart rush.

So with all said and that I've written,
Maybe there's a chance that with me you'll be smitten.
And once we've met, and introduced our names,
The journey's started, and our lives would never be the same.

Now here I end this poem of mine,
Hoping that you'll not think its another lousy rhyme.
Before we meet, on a day with sun or rain
I'll dream of you my dear girl,
Till again.


(I'm such a hopeless romantic.)