its a little bit funny.. this feeling inside..


ok. i got 14 points, L1R5. L1R4 11.


English A1
Comb. Humans B3
Mathematics A2
Add. Maths B3
Physics B3
Chemistry B3
Chinese A2/dist for oral.


quite a fantastic jump from a former 33 pointer to 23 pointer to 14 pointer eh? so proud of english. of course i was happy with my results. but after seeing people cry, and knowing my grandma is in hospital. the joy faded considerably. shit.


man. i had a hell of a day today. waking at 5 am isnt exactly what i would call fun, but what followed afterwards was fantastic. it was a trip to sentosa, or sandtosa~ lots of sand. haha, at least at palawan beach. it has been at least 4 or 5 years since i went to sentosa. but today, being out together with the band makes it more memorable. har. wit the balloon hats and all, it totally rocks. funny how we felt dumb when we were the only ones with the hats at first, but later, it was better when we realised we were the only ones with the hats ready. bloody hell. i didnt realise how heavy and long the walk was to bring the cases to the area. and i had to carry her case. man. it wasnt on purpose. marching wasnt bad, so was the playing. but abit of excessive whining gets to peoples nerves. hmm.


freak. i hate singlehood. not that i'm not enjoying it, but it feels kind of empty at times when you think back suddenly. there's a degree of helpessness and feeling of agony. i keep wondering. would things be better if we had held on a little longer. hearing sihui talk about what she went through made me wonder(again) if i was really being an asshole, or a victim. i cant get it out of my mind. everywhere i walk, i see it. i see her. i see us. everything i do, its all the same over again. freak.


i guess i wont call her. she's too busy by the looks of it.


did she ask how did i do?

You are one of the few out there whose wings are
truly ANGELIC. Selfless, powerful, and
divine, you are one blessed with a certain
cosmic grace. You are unequalled in
peacefulness, love, and beauty. As a Being of
Light your wings are massive and a soft white
or silver. Countless feathers grace them and
radiate the light within you for all the world
to see. You are a defender, protector, and
caretaker. Comforter of the weak and forgiver
of the wrong, chances are you are taken
advantage of once in awhile, maybe quite often.
But your innocence and wisdom sees the good in
everyone and so this mistreatment does not make
you colder. Merciful to the extreme, you will
try to help misguided souls find themselves and
peace. However not all Angelics allow
themselves to be gotten the better of - the
Seraphim for example will be driven to fighting
for the sake of Justice and protection of those
less powerful. Congratulations - and don't ever
change - the world needs more people like you.


*~*~*Claim Your Wings - Pics and Long Answers*~*~*
brought to you by Quizilla



aw~ i'm an angel! ha. but i'm not feeling like one currently.


cos its official. the results are out on this friday! argh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i'm so stressed. i'm having high expectations, not to mention high risks of losing my eyebrows. freak. please pray for me everyone. that i'll do well, less than 15 points, and that guangrong passes his english. anyway got the above quiz from guangrong, so ya thank yous~


had sectionals today. it was an amazing one since a guest player from syo or sso came down to teach us. he'll be our tutor. it was an amazing practice, since he made me able to play low low C, and top C. like totally rocks. bwaha.


oh ya. my camera is spoilt. the lens wont come out. freak. so i'll have to send it for repair someday.. anyone wanna go with me? prease?


and please vote for your fave album at the side please~

regret, love, words, laughter, coffeebean, emerald green.


what's that? those are the stuff that made up last night. not really love la, cos i was with 5 other guys, and if we were having any ahem.. weird kind of love..you get the point.


this is one post that i'll be blogging down all the details of a eventful, meaningful, and lynnfu day. haha..(added that in to make it fit somehow)


all started, when my handphone woke me up with its alarm..*7.30*beep..* hit snooze, and slept for another ten minutes before surrendering to the calls of the daylight. soon, i left house within half an hour, hoping to reach school by 8.30. obviously i didnt, cos i took a detour to buy breakfast, mcmuffin! with coupon, it was only four bucks, and it was a meal too. man, it tasted good(even though not as hot as i wanted it to be). proceeded to board 196/197 to school. to those reading this, this is a faster way to school, unless you just happen to have bad luck, which i stupidly missed a bus 10, and ended up waiting for another bus for 20 mins. meaning, i reached school only at..9.15. quite late, since i wanted to join the band for warm ups. but what the hell. enjoyed my meal outside the band room at the table, with a fear that a servant esp. osama would come and start nagging for eating outside. and that made me very jumpy since there was alot of dance people going in and out, walking to and fro, always nearly mistaking them as any cleaners. heard the band playing some eerie music, only realising it was "hawaii five-o", and the cornets was experiencing some technical errors.. went to search for my old bach, which was not well oiled, such a disgrace. in my days, a un oiled trumpet would be taken away from the owner, and given a condemmed one to use till he learnt a lesson. ok, maybe we didnt do that. after the sec one came, i found a courtoir(?), condemmed, but still extremly in good shape. shant reveal my plan here..hehe.


watched the juniors have there drills in the sweltering sun, couldnt join them in the field, thanks to some girl who was allergic to grass, and needed my company. -_-". man. this was followed by audrey's extremly bimbotic scene, where she looked everywhere except in the direction of us when we were screaming our heads off for her. "that's what jc has done to her". yeah right, what about me then? dang.


had a little chat with my juniors, about some discipline problems. lead to an extremly emotional scene, not for me but for the other guy beside sen and russell in my section. sometimes, i should have just kept my mouth shut. now i'm his best friend. shit. ok, i'll do my duty to help as much as i can, but no i wont be your buddy. and ya, you cant cry your life away, its not going to help. and you're not the only one with troubles. kiddo, you've aint seen what misery is, and neither have i, that's why i'm not going around thinking that no one likes me and wants to help me. so there.


took a little trip to orchrad cineleisure, thanks to audrey's water bottle, and to heeren for guangrong's cap, which was finally bought at Far east, where we found la wen, that bloody boutique who made our band uniforms. yuk. amazing that she remembered zat. who wouldnt right? whaha. and alan had his moment of.."glory" for showing his incredible strength for snapping a pair of sunglasses into two. wow. luckily for him, the guy was nice about it, and insisted that it was the glasses that was faulty, and he didnt have to pay a cent. oh yah, and we saw jean danker, looked quite pretty real life ya? and roy was too shy to ask to take photo with her..aw?


and so we started our trek to eugene's bachelor pad. we, being zat(of course), alan(of course), weijian((ex drum) major of course), guangrong(of course), eugene(duh..(drum)major of course) and me lah. walked from orchard to chinatown, where we deducded that even with the fact that we should walk 45 mins a day to keep pur hearts healthy, we had walked enough for a week. and how can a journey be without a topic to discuss? thru that walk, i learnt alot, that i shouldnt regret, forgive, and move on. learn only k, not apply yet. heh. ya, i'll give her a call sooner or later. its time we ended this. but i still think...oh well.


proved that we were unafraid of bird flu by eating chicken rice, and we finally reached our destination. my first time into a condo, so abit swa ku. dont blame me k. encountered a wary guard, thought that we were tresspassing. to all those who think the day ended there, wrong! we left soon after, and walked down club street, where they were having mardi gras, a party for gays, and we saw none, yet we received alot of stares, must be that we were all too ungay to be there, but seriously, didnt see any gays there though. we met up with weijian's mother and father and their relavtives, and saw weijian's dad new funky phone which could write chinese.. wow~ we walked (again) to clarke quay. time check, 10.55, close to 11pm. hunted for seats, and we found a wonderful seat by the river. alan was being ever so nice, and treated us to drinks. i had ice mocha, zat had sunrise, eugene had pure chocolate, weijian had his hot chocolate and carrot cake(cai tao kuay not!), roy had pure vanilla and alan had plan water. haha.. no, he had something, mixed chocolate and vailla i think. and of course, with good food, good company, we had good gossips. on a topic that we had common interest in, abit mean, but what the hell. talked for a good 2 hours. made our way back, and we started being groggy, and everyone took their baths, and soon we all turned in.. not after some extremly crappy jokes, sent weijian laughing his guts out.


woke up at 7.30. itched like crap, must be the dusty matteress. roy was suffering from headache, so we both went down to get panadol, and some instant noodles, and for the first time, they ran out of chopsticks. luckily, eugene's place had forks. quite miraculous. zat then stopped me from watching digimon cos he wantedto watch seventh heaven.. so mean. left soon after with alan.. lacked away my afternoon, till now. yup. that's how my weekend went.


regret of the weekend.



WHERE'S MY DIGICAM WHEN I SHOULD HAVE BROUGHT IT OUT!!!!

Ow.


i'm aching all over. back, arms, thighs, knees especially. all thanks to some circuit training we had for p.e, and we went to the wrong class somemore. man, my knee is hurting again. and i think i'll have to forfeit p.e for a long time, cos it's hurting even when i sit for for half an hour. damn.


ok. i definitely hate february. firstly, its a stupid month cos its not a proper month. doesnt even have 30 days. so it should be abolished and done away with. secondly, i think its dumb, cos some poor souls have to celebrate their birthdays four years once. its just so sad. being 40 and yet you're actually 10. ok, maybe that's a good thing for some.. but that's not the point. what about the 16 year olds being only 4?? and, its the month when i'll be receiving my o' level results, and i guess i should enjoy life more, since i most prob would commit suicide if i do badly. so please do visit me when i'm gone. (choy). i dont even know how to spell this month correctly.


dang. and i guess work is good at times. it keeps me from thinking far too much.


i'm getting far too lonely.

man i hate this feeling.


this is not going to be a nice post.


ok. i'm resigned to fate. i'll not dance anymore. not till i can. its like quite stupid to learn a dance and realise that you can do it cos you're just to conscious of what's going on around you? so... not anytime soon. ya.


i hate being hungry. i hate being tired. i hate being irriated when i'm hungry and tired.


i hate waiting. for all those who knows me, i'm a very impatient(at times) person. i've been waiting for so long for a reply. that's why i kept looking at my phone, but why am i waiting for one when i didnt even had the courage to ask for one? but yet i feel its basic courtesy, and it should have been done. freak. i was so looking forward to one simple thanks, thru sms or phone. its late. and i'm still waiting. please. dont disappoint me, like you've already done so.


it most probably wont come. so why disappoint myself further? damn. i think i'm still very much in love. get me out of here. i'm sinking too deep.

wargh~get lost.


i'm seriously feeling very very irritated at the moment.


man. it was a bad idea from the beginning. ok it wasnt. until this guy has to be in it. two of the people in the group has the same names as my friends in secondary sch, and both are my good friends. those in secondary sch that is. and the sad thing is, that they are so not like any of them. i think its karma at work again. i'm afraid of it happening again. so i'll be nice to them, to prevent any conflicts for now. if being nice doesnt work, ignoring will. cold shoulder and stuff.


man, i dont know why am i feeling so like this. is it because v'days in two day's time, or is it because i'm confused on which route to take (jc or poly) or when can i dont be so tired from school when i get home? man. i hate febuary. so many memories. so many headaches. so many stupid people. so little time to poke them all in the eye.


take it from me, one of these days, you're going to see a vulgarity from my posts soon. make that vulgarities. stressed out, stressed over, and no one actually sees it. man. i'm such a good actor.

From 8Days, latest issue. by jason hann.


The truth is, love is strange and wonderful thing. the writer Han Suyin called it a many and splendoured thing. and it is. especially when the person you love also loves you back. in that case, there's nothing like it in the world, no feeling that comes close to that deep knotted feeling in the pit of your stomach, that light headedness you get when you come near each other.


when you're in love, the world glows. you find youself smiling for no apparent reason. and should the day ever come when you fall out of love, you find yourself asking your friends, "what was i thinking? why didnt you say something?"


the thing is, you weren't thinking. you were in love. that's the beauty of love. it blinds you. you don't get to analyse it too much. once it hits you, you're a goner. for once in your life, you let down your mental barriers and defences . in other words, you're yourself, warts and all. even if its for a very short time. my advice: enjoy every moment of it, because you'll never know when it will come around again.


man, the truest words i've ever read before. so what happens once its gone?

new email add peeps.


Its rixen87@hotmail.com


now its simple and easy to type and remember. thankyou~

You're an ISFJ


ISFJ


Ok. You are sympathetic, loyal, considerate, and conscientious.
You will go to any amount of trouble, when it makes sense to you, to help those in need.
You are responsible and enjoy being needed.
You are down-to-earth and realistic and like others who are quiet and unassuming.
You absorb and enjoy using a large number of facts.


You like situations where the rules are well defined and where traditions are to be upheld.
You focus on providing practical help and services for others and for the organizations you serve.
You have a strong work ethic.


You can be painstakingly accurate and systematic in handling tasks...
you're conservative with traditional values...quiet and modest...tactful and supportive of friends and family...


You are often self-effacing in getting the job done, and are willing to make necessary sacrifices,
especially for your family. You are at your best quietly providing assistance and making sure things are in order.


You have a few close friends, don't like disharmony, and try to keep cooperation at all costs...you'll stay close friends with that tight circle for a LONG time...worry a lot...


You need to have things organized in a way you think works..
you cannot work when things are out of order...when things are in disarray,
you have to reorganize 'em immediately....you get involved with leisure ONLY after all the work is done...


You have a tendency to put off relaxing because there's too much work to be done...
you enjoy time with your family...you fall in love hard when you fall.
You place a high value on marriage and family...you seek out a partner and feel unfulfilled without one.
you most likely are a good student because you diligently follow through in your work to please your teachers.....
you learn best by DOING...


You tend not to be the center of attention...often appear serious...
others like trying to get a laugh or a smile out of you...you get angry or bitter when scorned...but you keep it inside...


Possible blindspots: because you are SOOOO in the present,
you have a hard time seeing possibilities or consequences of your actions...
can become mired in the daily grind...don't forget to express your bottled-up feelings...
you can be taken advantage of....could be pessimistic about the future because it's unknown and
you rely on past experiences.....you want to plan too much.


ISFJ: "I Serve Family Joyfully"

Unbelievable stuff.


i've been reading random blogs of people i dont know, and i'm filled with wonder. wondering how the hell can they yadder away at stuff like "oh i need a boyfriend, does he like me??" and can spell "elaborate", but not "past". wondering why the hell they even put up a blog, since they said "i know no one will read this, and no one knows about my blog". if no one knows, why the hell is it linked(could have saved me my accidental misery of reading, but got me the joy of having a better laugh at it than i had at William Hung), and if no one reads, why blog? and why do i even bother reading them?? am i getting nutsier by the day? mysteries of the unknown shall never be unanswered.


i'm wondering too. how is it really at the other cca? frankly, i would really want to know how the CO of tms works. i dont know whether is it because i want to compare it to us, or i just want to know why would people join CO. i came up with some reasons.


1. they believed the thousands of posters plastered over the sch.
2. they have siblings or friends there.
3. they love the "twelve girl band" chinese instrument people and wanna grow up to be like them.
4. they are fellow music lovers, but in the oriental form.


i find no. 3 and 4 very believable. 3 because they are so hot, that i think even my mum has gotten the vcd of them; 4, cos its the most rational and logical reason.


anyway, was saying i was surfing around blogs right? my, i found the most unbelievable blog(to me la) which has the most unbelievable content in it. no its not dirty or anything, but it just so happens that this guy whom i'm not fond of actually has a girlfriend. wow. then again, why not right? maybe its cause he was a total nerd and asshole (to me) during sec sch days, and no its not jonathan.


oh, and searching thru imagestation to look at pics is so fun, imaging the things you find: people using soft toys and taking "porn shots" of them, alot of other band members from other bands and their band camps(mostly overseas), and i even found a pic of Mr wong, our ex conductor(what anthnoy chew?) with his current band. man, he does look kinda old now. hm.


was actually considering of joining the talentime in mjc under the solo singing category.. such a joke to think back about that.


guangrong's back online! checkout his blog soon for some updates..i'm so looking forward to this.


my gp lecturer told us that sometime, we have to take time out of our hectic schedule, sit down and wonder about the meaning of life. wow, its profound to me. life, does it have a meaning? and in what ways do we mean by the meaning of life? the meaning of why are we in existence or the meaning that life gives to everyone? i cant answer any of these two, can you?

Kissing A Fool

Artist(Band):George Michael


You are far,
When I could have been your star,
You listened to people,
Who scared you to death, and from my heart,
Strange that you were strong enough,
To even make a start,
But you'll never find
Peace of mind,
Til you listen to your heart,


People,
You can never change the way they feel,
Better let them do just what they will,
For they will,
If you let them,
Steal your heart from you,
People,
Will always make a lover feel a fool,
But you knew I loved you,
We could have shown them all,
We should have seen love through,


Fooled me with the tears in your eyes,
Covered me with kisses and lies,
So goodbye,
But please don't take my heart,


You are far,
I'm never gonna be your star,
I'll pick up the pieces
And mend my heart,
Maybe I'll be strong enough,
I don't know where to start,
But I'll never find
Peace of mind,
While I listen to my heart,


People,
You can never change the way they feel,
Better let them do just what they will,
For they will,
If you let them,
Steal your heart,


And people,
Will always make a lover feel a fool,
But you knew I loved you,
We could have shown them all,


But remember this,
Every other kiss,
That you ever give
Long as we both live
When you need the hand of another man,
One you really can surrender with,
I will wait for you,
Like I always do,
There's something there,
That can't compare with any other,


You are far,
When I could have been your star,
You listened to people,
Who scared you to death, and from my heart,
Strange that I was wrong enough,
To think you'd love me too.
I guess you were kissing a fool,
You must have been kissing a fool.

Its so...


Its so Guangrong to wear baggy red or black shirts and three quarters.
Its so Juling to wear red and black, have a hairband and wear boardshorts.
Its so Weijian to wear long sleeved shirts, that are colours we wont wear(not to mention the prices)
Its so Aaron to wear striped long sleeved shirts, V necked.
Its so Chong Hu to wear ..i mean carry his water bottle around.
Its so Alan to ...i'm not sure?
Its so Zat to wear shirts and a bandanna
Its so Me to wear... white shirts and bermudas.


missed out any?


i'm asking for anyone has group photos of us... meaning like zat, j or zhenghong or anyone else who has a digicam and has a grp photo of ours please send it to me, i wanna put it as my wallpaper~ thankyou~currently, i'm using this, so if u have better ideas, please leave a comment. and there are a few new pics in the misc. sections, so take a look. =)

check out the pics!

the thing about women, girls, and female.


i think, that they're petty. no matter how nice, or magnanimous they seem, they're still petty to some extent, and its irritating. dont think they say forget it, but they'll always remember that you stained their pretty tablecloth, and bring it against you for the ten thousand million years to come. i've two live examples in my home. go figure who. i dont get it, why do they harp on something that is so teeny and so insignificant i.e. saying a sarcastic remark, and takes as a personal insult, makes a big fuss to the whole entire nation, brings up past 'wrongs' the guy did all because of one sentence he said. man, i dont get it, big time.


another thing. i feel that they think they're always right, always trying to prove their point, which is somehow related to the above paragraph. they'll go to impossible lengths to prove that it is the sun that makes their hair turn to another colour, or its the cat that took the sweet away or something weird like that. does it matter?? i wonder.

then again, as a fair person, i must include the man's side too.(this is to prevent from being bombed by the female blog readers) frankly, i believe that at times guys are insensitive too. and sometimes we also think we're alwys right. that's enough. ha.


hope you get my point. and believe me, Love make people do stupid things.