i realised i have this habit of cracking my knuckles before blogging a post. its as though i'm going to write alot, but as you can see, my posts are minuature(?) compared to weijian's.. so shameful. har.. its the ego thing once again.



i'm thinking, i'll wanna be the MJC band exco. one of them, or any of the post. i want to revolutionise the band, change the system and make it better.(whahaha). frankly, i feel that its lacking discipline, and lacking some respect for authority. maybe i'm to rigid with the TWE system, but maybe simple rules like no talking during band prac and lateness will not be tolerated should be made firmly known? band pracs' aint something that you can take lightly and come just and when you feel like it. attendancewill be taken so seriously, you'll feel me biting up your ass if you miss a single one without a valid reason. (man, am i saying this.. cant believe i was thinking abt skipping band prac in the previous post...whoops!) did i mention i'm in the organising committee for the upcoming concert?


ah shit! i just realised i forgot to go to the line dance jam! aw shit! freak shit! piss shit! ah... i missed the one and only one that is so bloody close to my home.... nvm, there'll be one on a friday night(got band leh..), which i'm so going, so dont stop me man~ but you can remind me. heh.


been caught up with playing resident evil 2, quite interesting to scare myself silly with playing that game in total silence and semi darkness and being alone at home. never knew i could be shocked by such sudden movements of dead people. i getting my brains eaten up.

DAMN!



i cant believed i missed the line dancing jam... haiz. currently i'm very tired, was pissed but think i'm ok now. the next one's at 30th jan..at blk 539! which is so near my house. i'm so going. gonna skip band, say.. have father's company dinner must go cos must buy tickets or some shit liddat. so anyone has a better excuse please give in the comments..


ok, i've definitely been gambling these days, and its a bad habit, but this habit stops today, and will not revive for very long. luckily, i've won some $$, not much but still satisfactory. besides the gambling, its still fun tto eat rubbish junk food, discuss how stupid some people are and wake up early to be disappointed.


anyone noticed that i've finally have paragraphing for my posts??? hahah.. figured that i've to double space to get the spacing. oh well. i need a forgetting potion of sort. not too much, just for certain places and times. i think i'll soon resort to banging on walls to get amnesia.

......

at some days, i wish i had a strong believe in a religion for me keep on going, for me to believe that there's always someone who is there listening to me, and accepts me for whom am i truly, without and second consideration.it seems to be an easy way out to just believe in someone whom u cant see, yet he or she'll will be always there. doesnt it sound like an imaginary friend? maybe i should talk to my soft toys or something.


meeting my cousins made me think. time has passed, passed so quickly. it was like yesterday when it was only the few of us kids those days, getting most of the attention, doing stupid yet funny kids stuff, playing games.. but now, our generation has passed, now onto the younger ones. wow.i'm only 16+, yet i'm feeling so old now. i cant remember the days when i'm 3, when i still wore shoes that squeaked, was shy, and had fats.. hm.


do i blog too much about love? i think i do, maybe its cos i think alot about this, or maybe like I'm an emo guy ya? but seriously i agree hundred and ten thousand percent, that getting into a relationship aint a game for fun. take it as a game and you'll soon find yourself being played rather than playing. its not fun to be played, toyed with. its not fun to be on the hurt side. its not fun to give all to some one and yet the person acts as if nothing is happening. further elaboration by zat..he's said all i've ever wanted.



oh, new year's been fun.

Frustration.



currently, i'm feeling blardy pissed about this DVD my sis borrowed. now i know why she was cursing the shop. for every let's say...5seconds worth of footage, the show will stop, and return to the title screen of my tv. it was fine for lets say.. the first 13 chapters of the movie, and the movie has 60 over chapters. from then on, it starts doing its jamming, freezing at weird places with weird expressions of the actors..now i'm feeling quite blur and confused.



i really dont know if i should continue with JC. just for 2 weeks, i'm very tired, and slightly gettting stressed out. my class is fine, with its share of crapsters and quiet ones, not to forget one extremely irritating and doesnt know how to stop when she's going overboard, or just shut up. i think one day someone's going to tell her that, i think its me.



i've met some very undesirable people these days. shant bitch about them few days before the new year. maybe i'll continue after the new year. which i know it'll be fun filled.

Ten Facts for me to learn

1.More often than not, breaking up is as hard on the person ending the relationship as it is on the person being broken up with - don't assume just because a person is breaking up with you means that they no longer care about you, caring about you and wanting a relationship with you are not one and the same.


2.Nobody likes to hurt another person, especially somebody they have been close to, and it is often very easy to guilt trip somebody into staying with you when they are trying to end things. Resist this urge! When you use guilt as a way to stop a break up you not only cheat yourself out of having a good and true relationship, you foster resentment in the other person which could lead to greater pain and heart ache in the future.


3.Being broken up with does not mean that there is something wrong with you; it just means that there is something that is not working in the relationship. Try not to take the rejection too personally. Remember that lots of great people have had failed relationships - the fact that the relationships failed says nothing about their value as a person. The fact that your relationship failed likewise says nothing about you as a person.


4.It is all right to cry, get mad and feel hurt when you are dumped. These are normal natural feelings. Just be sure that you let your feelings out in a safe place among friends or family. Do not make your ex the target of your feelings, even if they have done something to deserve your outrage. The sooner you let go of the other person, the sooner the healing can begin.


5.Breaking up is never easy. You will have good days and you will have bad days. Take it one day at a time and don't beat yourself up if you have an overly emotional day - you're only human after all.


6.Break ups are often followed by one of the parties starting a new relationship and when this happens it can bring up all sorts of old feelings. If you thought you were over someone who broke up with you and find yourself upset at the news that s/he has moved on, rest assured you are normal. Let yourself be upset, it is part of the healing process.


7.Acting out in anger is never good for anybody. After being broken up with don't spread mean or spiteful rumors. Don't betray former confidences by telling old secrets to others. If another person was involved in your break up resist the urge to slam them behind their back. Acting vicious only makes you look bad and any satisfaction you may feel will be short lived. In the end this sort of behaviour will only make you feel worse.


8.A big part of the pain of breaking up comes from a feeling of embarrassment. We often fear how the situation will look to outsiders. Refuse to be embarrassed, even if you did something outlandish to cause your break up. Letting go of the embarrassment will help you move on to the healing.


9.Nobody ever deserves to be hurt. Your ex does not deserve to be hurt because you are hurting. Your ex's new love interest (if one even exists) does not deserve to be hurt just because you feel jealous. You do not deserve to be hurt, even if you acted badly and caused the break up. Breaking up hurts, but it doesn't have to be made worse by holding a grudge or drowning yourself in a pool of if only's. Deal with the reality and let go of your anger, the pain will disappear more quickly if you do.


10.Things may seem bleak now but you never know what the future may hold for you and your ex. You may get back together someday. You may not. Either way it is better to let go of a faltering relationship while there is still some caring left between the two of you. If you play it out to the bitter end and leave your ex no choice but to hate you to get rid of you, you close the door to the future. Bowing out graciously leaves room for a future relationship with your ex, even if it is just as good friends.

Its the Little Things in Life That Makes Up the Big Things.

i'm a very simple guy, easily contend. i dont have to have the biggest house, neither do i need the best shoes, nor do i need a desginer bag. i just want friends, the life i'm having now, and some buddies to hang out and to confide in.
i do not need alot of money to be happy, nor do i need alot of attention. but i need music, i need stories to occassionally escape into a fantasy world of myth and magic, and i just need a little love.
Its the little things i see daily that makes my day. it could be a little act of pure kindness, or a simple from the heart smile from a friend, and it would make my day. or it could be quality time out for a dinner with buddies, with little chat, not to forget the sudden outburst of laughter. it could be seeing TWE performing, man, did i feel oh so proud seeing the band looking so professional on that sec 1 cca orientation night. wow, no matter what happened, you all were still good.
Its the little things, like seeing my hamster waking up early in the morning to say hi to me (yeah right), or seeing a sms from a friend, wishing me good morning or a good day. it could also be a hi from any of my juniors. man, am i asking for alot?
i did not know this fact, or practise this fact of life in the past. i took things for granted, not appreciating the little miracles around us, or the people around me. but i'll take it as a lesson learnt the hard way, and learn from it now. and i guess i wont be seeing any shrinks now, with a new outlook of life and things. but do hold my hand and lead me along if i ever need help. dont cry.

Whoops~

Somehow, i'm not very enthu about my OG group outing. and i most probably wont be going to that outing which will be held at some girl's big house at somewhere in eunos, and most prob the more enthu and outstanding people will be the ones hogging the centre of attention or whot not that will happen. yes its nothing wrong with being enthu but being overly enthu about an event for some people whom you have only spent less then 3 days together, nope not my cup of tea peeps. my real friends (read Weijian, Zat, and the rest of gang with people like Guangrong, Juling, Chong Hu, Eugene, Xingwen, to name some) whom know me know that i'm not the sort who will not go for outings unless



1) i totally dont care abt the outing
2) i totally hate the people there
3) i'm sick (of the people and of what they'll do)
4) i've better things to do, i.e. pick my toenails, condition my hay hair..

well, i do have something to do on that sad night of the bbq, or any night it will be held. because...I will be having a line dancing session, if not, i will be visiting my grandma's who is quite old, or, i will be going for chinese new year visiting. so i apologise for any inconvenience(??) caused as i wont be able to provide cheap utensils and cutlery. nor i will be present to play the games i.e. spray water into joel's mouth with a garden hose, nor will i be able to take part in the dance around the coconut tree game by kumar. i most probably will be suffering my night away with enjoyable line dancing with my buddies learning and revising the dances, like Hole in the Head which i've already forgotten.., or i wuold be rotting away at my grandma's house where i would be chatting with my aunty about how life is so funny with stupid people around or we will watch some exciting tv show together. man i just feel so sad now, oops.. must wipe the potato chips off the desk..get another packet to drown my sorrows away..oh well. life's just full of disappointment.

You and I Both

Artist(Band):Jason Mraz

Was it you who spoke the words that things would happen but not to me
Oh, things are gonna happen naturally
Oh, And taking your advice and I'm looking on the bright side
And balancing the whole thing
Oh, But it often times those words get tangled up in lines
And the bright light turns to night
Oh, Until the dawn it brings
Another day to sing about the magic that was you and me

Cause you and I both loved
What you and I spoke of
And others just read of, others only read of bout' the love
Oh, the love that I love

See I'm all about them words
Over numbers, unencumbered numbered words
Hundreds of pages, pages, pages for-wards
More words then I had ever heard and I feel so alive

Cause you and I both loved
What you and I spoke of
And others just read of and if you could see me now
Oh, love love, you and I, you and I,
not so little you and I anymore, Umm
And with this silence brings a moral story
More importantly evolving is the glory of a boy

Cause you and I both loved
What you and I spoke of
And others just read of and if you could see me now
Well that I’m almost finally out of
I’m finally out of
Finally-dee-deedle le dee dee
Well I’m almost finally, finally
Well I am free, Oh, I'm free

And it's okay if you had to go away
Oh, just remember the telephone well their workin it both ways
But if I never ever hear them ring
If nothing else I'll think the bells inside
Have finally found you someone else and that's okay
Cause I'll remember everything you sang

Cause you and I both loved
What you and I spoke of
And others just read of and if you could see me now
Well that I’m almost finally out of
I’m finally out of, Finally-dee-deedle le dee dee
Well I’m almost finally, finally
Out of words

You know..

the past two days have been days of tears, seen ppl crying, either due to stress or extreme emotional changes? it hasnt been easy, the change and responsibilties that people are having and undertaking these days. wow, peeps, take it easy. a leadership post or any other simple responsibilty isnt easy to manage, but still, take a light perspective to things and everything will be fine.

ypu know zat, that night? it really was painful. i could feel the pain slowly feeling up my chest, shortenning my breath. it was really painful. what made it worse was that i could not let it out. no its not your fault. it is already the past, mentioning it should not do anything, so please dont feel bad or anything. i just wanted to tell you how badly it still feels.my mom thinks i should go see a shrink. hm. maybe i should.

my blogs are getting crappy.

Whew.

what a tiring week i have had. well it isnt exactly been a week, but it has been hectic.. and tutorials havent even started!! ah!!

my week at mjc, was better then i expected, with some very nice OGLs(orientation group leaders) and some very enthu group members i.e. one named Cassandra and Jia Yan. wow. Cassandra's female version of zat, and man, zat, she's your rival in terms of rara-ness? amazing~ had some usual orientation games, but i'm impressed by how good the council had managed to run this programme so smoothly, and i really appreciated the games they planned, knowing how much effort it had went into it...Hey, i'm a game planner too, esp for the Discovery aka Amazing Race even though there was this bloody irritating Games IC whom everyone of my grp agreed she sucked..
orientation ended with a campfire, sadly, my grp came in third, losing its lead.. haha.

and so orientation ended and lessons started. i got into 04s303, with Physics, C maths and Econs, and the only people i knew in the class was Weiliang(ex band mem) and Weiling. lectures were ok so far, except for one who so resembled Morni in the way she spoke but was far better than her..duh. who can be worse than morni..
JC life i admit isnt easy, with the waking up at 6am and leaving at 630am. i hope i'll be able get suited to it. man i missed secondary school peeps, esp weijian and gang.. where are you guys.. i'll see you tml at the orientation for tms!..(hehe.. skipping my band prac.)

i hate this phrase.i know how you feel.

are you sure?? are you sure you know the agony or pain tha i'm going thru before you say this? ok, currently i'm not down or anything, but i just read something with that phrase from someone. it's bloody irritating, unless you've gone thru what ive been, so please dont say that you know how i feel. cos you cant, and you'll never will unless you're me. how can you know what i feel just because one says "oh it hurts"; "man this sucks"; etc etc. you get my drift? well, i know most peeps are just trying to be nice by saying this, but hey, nicety has its limits too, and please dont over do it.

one more thing. let's say. you like someone. but you cant seem to strike a conversation with the person. can anyone spot the problem? tell me. click the comment and let me see your answer.

Archived.

everything that is posted here will archived, and left for the reading pleasure for those who missed it in the past. i know my blog posts arent the most interesting or the most entertaining, but having this blog of mine really gave me a whole new out look of life in the world. its has been a year sincei started this blog, and it has its ups and downs, a period of turmoil(?) and peace and bliss. do have a look at the archives. it brings back more memories than i thought i could. notto mention, readthe archives of the others too. namely, Zat's and Guangrong's. very entertaining and enlightening. here's something from zat's archive.

Wear Sunscreen

Ladies and gentlemen of the class of '03:

Wear sunscreen.
If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it.
The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience.
I will dispense this advice now.
Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth.
Oh, never mind.
You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they've faded.
But trust me, in 20 years, you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked.
You are not as fat as you imagine.
Don't worry about the future.
Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum.
The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blindside you at 4 p.m. on some idle Tuesday.
Do one thing every day that scares you.
Sing.
Don't be reckless with other people's hearts.
Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.
Floss.
Don't waste your time on jealousy.
Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind.
The race is long and, in the end, it's only with yourself.
Remember compliments you receive.
Forget the insults.
If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.
Keep your old love letters.
Throw away your old bank statements.
Stretch.
Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life.
The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives.
Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don't.
Get plenty of calcium.
Be kind to your knees.
You'll miss them when they're gone.
Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't.
Maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't .
Maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary.
Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either.
Your choices are half chance.
So are everybody else's.
Enjoy your body.
Use it every way you can.
Don't be afraid of it or of what other people think of it.
It's the greatest instrument you'll ever own.
Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but your livingroom.
Read the directions, even if you don't follow them.
Do not read beauty magazines.
They will only make you feel ugly.
Get to know your parents.
You never know when they'll be gone for good.
Be nice to your siblings.
They're your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.
Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few you should hold on.
Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people who knew you when you were young.
Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard.
Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.
Travel.
Accept certain inalienable truths: Prices will rise.
Politicians will philander.
You, too, will get old.
And when you do, you'll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble, and children respected their elders.
Respect your elders.
Don't expect anyone else to support you.
Maybe you have a trust fund.
Maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse.
But you never know when either one might run out.
Don't mess too much with your hair or by the time you're 40 it will look 85.
Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it.
Advice is a form of nostalgia.
Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth.
But trust me on the sunscreen

There’s a light in your eyes, where I used to see,
There’s a place in your heart where I used to be,
Was I wrong to assume, that you were waiting for me?
Blogger’s down, so currently, I’m blogging on notepad. Damn. Its new year's eve, I’m at home, listening to songs, blogging and chatting on msn. Currently, I’m feeling real down. How pathetic can this be? A brand new year’s coming in less then half an hour, and I still feeling very bad. My friends are partying outside, and I’m at home alone. I’m supposed to leave this year’s bad stuff behind, and start a new one fresh. Let’s do some recalling of this year.

Jan. I continued school in Tms with my class of 4/6. we had a band orientation where we brought in those sec ones who will be making us proud in two years time. There was the putting up of posters, and preparing for the SYF started, but more for the Premier series.

Feb. The month had most impt events for me. I celebrated my first Valentine ’s Day, and on the 22nd of Feb, we had the Premier 16. On the day itself, I asked her to be her boyfriend. It was the most memorable day of the year I think. (oops. It’s New Year liao. Happy new year peeps.)

March. The coming of Sars, everyone was freaking out. But we were more concerned with the upcoming SYF.. little did we know, there was a school closure.. which sent us into panic due to the SYF.

April. My birthday month. Excellent! But, SYF was due this month, yet, due to sars and school closure, SYF was postponed.. blessing or bane?

May. Our mid year exams. Wow, but I didn’t really study much, and the results spoke for themselves.. oops.

June. Had our very first band camp under Glosz. Led to a moonlight practice, bloody romantic but my partner was Nicolas. So erm.. but it was the first moonrise I’ve ever seen in my life. I broke a promise. Took the Chinese o level papers.

July. On the 27th, we made history. TWE achieved the very first gold in 22 years. We brought glory to ourselves, showed that we’re the rockers.

August. Preparations of the national day parade, erm I meant the school parade where we played the national anthem. It was speech day too. Heard that not much people sang on that day cos they wanted to hear us play. Haha..

September. The month of our prelims. Man I bloody hell study damn bloody hell hard for the chemistry. And woohoo… from a F9 to a B4!! Beat that! Sadly, I broke up with her on this month.

October. Well, nothing much, just the release of our prelim results and a lot of studying for the great O’s.. man those days rocked. The study gang. Ronald, Chong Hu, Hexian, Weijian, Joshua, Aaron, Alan. Man those days were fun!

November. Woo.. the O’s are here. Spent a good 3 weeks at the O’s.

December. The month of partying.

That’s about it. Actually I spent a lot of time grieving over a loss, but at the same time I enjoyed myself by going line dancing and stuff. Its one hour into the new year now. I guess I’ll be off to either game, or sleep. See ya peeps.