Back once again~

long time since i blogged. well ok, few days. but within this few days, lots and lots have happened. here's some.. more significant ones~

NO.1
yes, as most would have known, i changed my skin. to some its nice, to some its not. whatever~ as long i like it, its ok to me. but you guys opinions still matter to me, so keep them coming.. and alan, i'll try to change the colour.. eh. gimmie an colour for me to choose? help needed here. thanky people..

NO.2
met sec ones. well, not exactly the idea batch but still, i'm hoping for hope(eh?). some seem over enthu, no names need to be mentioned, and some seem, well overly quiet. they'll loosen up soon enough. like all the bitchy sec2s and 3s, its a band tradition. but, i dun like those over enthu ones, well, because to me, its like they're trying too hard. just be normal, and we'll get to you k?

NO.3
got my beautiful baby~ cornet~!~!~!~ my gawd.. its the 2nd most beautiful thing i've ever seen! wow wow.. still gushing over it. and the sound's so mellow, downright beautiful. but sad thing is that i'm going to part with it in a few months time.. sob. the sec 2s are not going to use that baby and the other cornets until they can play AOA from head to back.. so there!

NO.4
went home with my neighbour cum teacher cum "friend"---> ?
Mrs Audrey Ho! a real funky and cool teacher. a very gd person to converse with, and an excellent adviser, judging by the ride home. and i meant home. like 3 stairs down.. shocking how much she knows abt me, credits go the MR. ZATIMAN... appreciated. now u better not tell Ms Lela ok.. anyway, Mrs Ho told me alot of things, which set me thinking, i've decided to act ASAP. thank you Mrs Ho!

NO.5
this is what i talked abt with audrey(not Ho) today, on the way home.
we, feel that mr glosz lack communication. well, i feel that he is only recognising the big people, and not the others. this is very unfair. i think, the only people that he knows by name in our band would be, J, Aaron, Samuel, Timothy, Wang Quan and maybe Zheng Hong. oh, not forgetting Liza, or Lisa to him. it is unfair of him, to only speak to the only few people during the practices. i dun get the idea that he's trying to know the people in our band. yes, he may have alot of students, but still, the above mentioned are not the only ones in our band ya? how will he confirm that liza is the best, when there's suan sen and cheryl? unfair to cheryl and nic esp, they're rarely noticed. i think this is going on in other sections? and i dun even know whether does he know audrey, our band major. i don't think he even knows me even though i've asked him lots of times abt the accessories and stands. i find it unfair, and downright lame that he doesn't know the name of vanesaa, the one who he says has an excellent tone and singles out lots of time? do the rest feel left out?
maybe its the rush. maybe its other factors. please enlighten me oh great ones who read my blog.


I've got sunshine - on a cloudy day.
When it's cold outside, I've got the month of May.

Well, I guess you'll say, What can make me feel this way?
My girl. (My girl, my girl)
Talkin' 'bout my girl. (My girl)

I've got so much honey - the bees envy me.
I've got a sweeter song, Than the birds in the trees.

Well, I guess you'll say
What can make me feel this way?
My girl. (My girl, my girl)
Talkin' 'bout my girl. (My girl)

I don't need no money, Fortune or fame.
I've got all the riches, baby, One man can claim.

Well, I guess you'll say
What can make me feel this way?
My girl. (My girl, my girl)
Talkin' 'bout my girl. (My girl)
Talkin' bout my girl.
I've got sushine on cloudy day
With my girl.I've even got the month of May, with my girl, talkin' bout, talkin' bout my girl . . .

back now..

changed my skin. like it? had quite a prob getting it right. but nevertheless, with hel from my sis and zat, it worked like a well oiled machine.. wee.. thank ya all.
today's post is going to be a short one. still feeling unsure, but better. lots. i think i'll have to understand life better and accept things the way they are. changes are always there. like the winds always eroding the rocks, the waves beating on the beach. life's like that right?
live on..
btw, this friday who wants to go for a reunion lunch after school? please comments and confrim your attandance~!
thank you..

Time..

changed my skin after a loong long time.. be back later to reblog~

Hurt, but not sad, yet....

its sumthing to be happy, and glad abt, but why am i feeling funny all inside? i should be already contended, and yes i am, very very loved and contented, but still, i think its unfair. i think only a fair few reading this will understand. its is frustrating. yes, he is so much more fun than i am, and maybe, mor daring. but one year ago, didn't i asked the same thing? why is it u agreed to him, but not me? i'm not complaining, but i would like to know.

really.

to see you 2 so happy together, is a joy for me, yet somehow, i feel real mixed up. no i do not have anymore feelings for her, not any as she has for me, but i still want to know why, that he can do it why can't i? its it becasue i chose a wrong time, or because i'm just a immature little boy then? tell me. anyone. please i beg.
is it because that after us, you had courage, and so you could accept him? i wish and hope that's true.
best wishes and bless you two. at least he had the courage to hold her hand.

vexed. real vexed.

90 miles outside Chicago
Can't stop driving
I don't know why
So many questions
I need an answer
Two years later, you're still on my mind
Whatever happened to Emilia Earhart
Who holds the stars up in the sky
Is true love once in a lifetime
Did the captain of the Titanic cry

Someday we'll know
If love can move a mountain
Someday we'll know
Why the sky is blue
Someday we'll know
Why I wasn't meant for you

Does anybody know the way to Atlantis
Or what the wind says when she cries
I'm speeding by the place where I met you
For the 97th time tonight

Someday we'll know
Why Samson loved Delilah
One day I'll go
Dancing on the moon
Someday you'll know
That I was the one for you

I bought a ticket to the end of the rainbow
I watched the stars crash in the sea
If I could ask God just one question
Why aren't you here with me?

Can't think of any..

my mom just asked me why do i hang out more with my band friends rather than my class friends. simple reason? i think i click better with the band people than my class people. then again, its not true. the people i hang out with, alan, lee kheng and some others are not band people? i think i like fun people. who doesn't? but its that these people do not go overboard with their crazy antics, but still always manage to draw a gwaff from me. nutcases yah? not forgetting the Yo gang.. (kinda like weird name, we so creative, but with a name like that..), that cracks me up like every band prac?
anyway, today after sch was a total crappy event. we city kids have proved our Swau Ku-ness by being so fascinated by a mere praying mantis. man, i think we looked like a couple of idiots looking at a insect. but nevertheless, it was still cool. to see the mantis move around, see how lynn and wendy think it was cute, hear audrey scream when it ran towards her.. whahaha..

anyway, is love really hard to achieve many might ask? how true is that? but i believe, to get the rainbow, u'll have to endure the storm. most probably, the greater the storm, the nicer the rainbow. correct me if i'm wrong.

It's hard for me to say the things
I want to say sometimes
There's no one here but you and me
And that broken old street light
Lock the doors
We'll leave the world outside
All I've got to give to you
Are these five words when I

Thank you for loving me
For being my eyes
When I couldn't see
For parting my lips
When I couldn't breathe
Thank you for loving me
Thank you for loving me

I never knew I had a dream
Until that dream was you
When I look into your eyes
The sky's a different blue
Cross my heart
I wear no disguise
If I tried, you'd make believe
That you believed my lies

Thank you for loving me
For being my eyes
When I couldn't see
For parting my lips
When I couldn't breathe
Thank you for loving me

You pick me up when I fall down
You ring the bell before they count me out
If I was drowning you would part the sea
And risk your own life to rescue me

Lock the doors
We'll leave the world outside
All I've got to give to you
Are these five words when I

Thank you for loving me
For being my eyes
When I couldn't see
You parted my lips
When I couldn't breathe
Thank you for loving me

When I couldn't fly
Oh, you gave me wings
You parted my lips
When I couldn't breathe
Thank you for loving me

These days.

Loss of words that is. i'm finding i'm having less and les things to say these days. and i'm getting more and more tired these days. i'm not suffering in my life, yet i'm not really enjoying it either. ironic to my last post eh? i forget my purpose of doing things, or don't get it why i am doing that. had civics today, talked about what will we be in the future, or what we think we'll be in the future. i though about being a teacher, and it shocked quite alot people around me. is it really hard to see me teach and lead? i wonder will i be up to the job now, even wonder can i achieve that dream of mine. blegh.

just watched mind matters, saw vanessa's brother on tv. not a bad actor i must say. its abt anxiety disorders. no i';m not having that problems, but sometimes i think i must really control my anger. i get pissed kinda easy these days. argh... now i dunno what i'm talking abt. guess i tired liao yah? its these days i'm getting tired again, what's up with me? what's up with the people around me. do i live up to or for their expectations? now i know how juling feels when she's confused, and it sucks big time.

anyway, when my leg was cut by a stand, i told my mum, and the first thing she said was, " the pants torn anot?" shiok ah?
gtg now. my one hella of pmsing piss shit sis wanna use the com to DO WORK... cos she wants to sleep early .. joke of the year man.

I'm lying alone with my head on the phone
Thinking of you till it hurts
I know you hurt too but what else can we do
Tormented and torn apart
I wish I could carry your smile and my heart
For times when my life feels so low
It would make me believe what tomorrow could bring
When today doesn't really know, doesn't really know

I 'm all out of love, I'm so lost without you
I know you were right believing for so long
I 'm all out of love, what am I without you
I can't be too late to say that I was so wrong

I want you to come back and carry me home
Away from this long lonely nights
I'm reaching for you, are you feeling it too
Does the feeling seem oh so right
And what would you say if I called on you now
And said that I can't hold on
There's no easy way, it gets harder each day
Please love me or I'll be gone, I'll be gone

Oh, what are you thinking of?
What are you thinking of?
Oh, what are you thinking of?
What are you thinking of?

If only..

Appreciation.
have we ever really appreciated what everyone around us does? the little things, in life are really the one that really makes me glad. i do not need abalone, lobsters and lots of good food daily, i just ask for my mum's homecooked food.i don't need alot of money to be happy, just need the crazy antics of my crazy friends to keep me happy. see daryl? i do not need to be holding hands, or anything else to be glad. just spending the day with my special someone is good enough for me. it could just be a simple day out at the library, walk down the lane, anything, as long its with my loved one, or friend, this can brighten up my day, anyones' day. realise how long it takes for me to get a new wallet? since sec one, the wallets i used, my bags, and lots of other stuff, are hand me downs. no need for branded stuff daily, yeah? i'm serious. i want to lead a simple life, a small house, a happy family, when i grow up that is. wonder will my mentality change.

anyway, i still tink some people are not happy at me, don't know whether its me being sensitive, or whatever.. sorry for whatever i've done. and congrats to Jodin and Zhijian for blogging back..

If a picture paints a thousand words
Then why can't I paint you?
The words will never show
For you I've come to know.
If a face could launch a thousand ships
Then where am I to go?
There's no one home but you
And now you've left me too.
And when my love for life is running dry
You come and pour yourself on me
If a man could be two places at one time
I'd be with you.
Tomorrow and today
Beside you all the way
If the world should stop revolving
Spinning slowly down to die.
I'd spend the end with you
And when the world was through...
Then one by one, the stars would all go out.
Then you and I, would simply fly away.

Tired~ still tired

just woke up from my slumber like thirty minutes ago.. and its raining outside now. quite heavy. i know its one of the greatest weather to sleep, but at eleven i've tuition, therefore... what a day i had yesterday.

yesterday morning, had band prac.woke up to find my hamster escaped and is missing. was so worried. left home and was nearly late. then found weijian was sick and yet he came later to band.. he's so ever not admitting defeat to sickness ah? after band, it was C.I.P time.. flag selling for the Riding for the Disabled Association. my starting location was damn ulu.. At Ang Mo Kio??? went with lynn, even though she didn't collect a can for donations. we staerted off on a wrong foot by going to wrong place... like damn~ sorry lynn, could see you were tired from all that walking. after getting the can, started to ask for the first donations. abit shy at first, but soon the line"goodafternoonwouldliketomakeadonation?" started fumbling out of my mouth. could see lynn was bored, so i decided to go the orchard where the rest of the gang was, and hoped for better reaps? wrong~! that bloody place is filled with other sch people asking for donations, and the way they asked was damn arrogant! most of them i saw were slacking around, buying drinks, and sittiing down. maybe their cans are full already. but what was real infuirating was the group of punk wannabes. like totally BLEGH. such fakos. they were like in black leather jackets with studs, telling me to go home and not waste my time, taking my stickers away. was quite angry and scared. was afraid they'll do something to lynn and me.. but luckily they left. realised people at Ang Mo Kio were so much warm hearted than those at orchard road.

after the C.I.P, went for supposedly dinner. in the end it was too late and didn't had time for it. ate chips and water instead. my very simpple dinner. sorry guys, for dragging you all along. think tha some of you weren't happy, so here i apologise? sorry fellas.. but overall its was an enjoyable day, and it ended happily with finding my hamster~! it was behind my desk.. like where it went when sam and sen played and lost it..
here's thanks to all those donated. even ruiwen~!

Summer lovin' had me a blast - summer lovin', happened so fast
I met a girl crazy for me - I met a boy, cute as can be
Summer days driftin' away, to uh-oh those summer nights

Tell me more, tell me more, did you get very far?
Tell me more, tell me more, like, does he have a car?

She stood by me, she got a cramp - he went by me, got my suit damp
I saved her life, she nearly drowned - he showed up, splashing around
Summer sun, something's begun, but uh-oh those summer nights

Tell me more, tell me more, was it love at first sight?
Tell me more, tell me more, did she put up a fight?

Took her bowlin' in the Arcade - we went strollin', drank lemonade
We made out under the dock - we stayed up until ten o'clock
Summer thing don't mean a thing, but uh-oh those summer nights

Tell me more, tell me more, that you don't got her preg
Tell me more, tell me more, cause he sounds like a drag

He got friendly, holdin' my hand - well she got friendly, down in the sand
He was sweet, just turned eightteen - well she was good, you know what I mean
Summer heat, boy and girl meet, but uh-oh those summer nights

Tell me more, tell me more, how much dough did he spend?
Tell me more, tell me more, could she get me a friend?

It turned colder, that's where it ends - so I told her we'd still be friends
Then we made our true love vow - wonder what she's doin' now
Summer dreams ripped at the seams, but oh, those summer nights

Tell me more, tell me more.

Bliss

what a day. deft memorable, and a remarkable day in my life..shan;t say much here.

Happiness.
have anyone here have been so happy that no one could ever bother u? so happy that even being drenched in the rain u could still feel so high? so happy that even the sight of your worst enemies could make u smile?
Sadness.
now, have u been so sad, that everything seems all blue, all gray. no colour? so sad, till even ur dog licks ur face, its stil doesn't cheer u up?
Anger.
so angry that you shouted at ur best friend, threw your most favourite soft toy on the floor? disrespected your grandma and sulked the whole day?
this are one of the few expressions people have, and there's more to come. notice those around you, thier ctions, feelings and facial expressions when they're feeling, wither happy, sad, angry or otherwise. you may notice one side of him or her you've never seen. its only at these times when people truly show their real self. so people who always seem happy, may not really be that inside, or those who keep quiet, are actually quite a talker inside. maybe we'll have to take the first step to learn these people. its really, really the peple inside that we're shld be looking for, not the apperance ya? but, pls, remember, a first impression counts as much as your following actions.
anyway, if music is the food of life, play on, but keep it coming slowy, not too much till i get sick of it and puke? thanks~

Someday when my life has passed me by
I'll lay around and wonder why you were always there for me
One way, in the eyes of a passer by
I'll look around for another try and fade away

Just close your eyes and I'll take you there
This place is warm and without a care
We'll take a swim in the deep blue sea
I go to leave and you reach for me

Some say better things will come our way
No matter what they try to say you were always there for me
Some way, when the sun begins to shine
I hear a song from another time and fade away
And fade away

Just close your eyes and I'll take you there
This place is warm and without a care
We'll take a swim in the deep blue sea
I go to leave and you reach for me

Ohhh, come on
Someone said you tried to long (you will pass me by)
Someone said we got it all wrong (all wrong)
Someone said we tried to long (you will pass me by)
Every thinks were right belong

So far so long so far away
So far so wrong so far away away away

Someday when my life has passed me by
I'll lay around and wonder why you were always there for me
One way, in the eyes of a passer by
I'll look around for another try and fade away
And fade away (repeats many times till it fades out)

Let's dance~

lines.
dots.
symbols.
human.
mind.
and voila, music~

was listening to the moulin rouge soundtrack that i lent from Jodin, who had a terrible pain in the stomach today. was totally entranced by the beautiful beautiful voices of the singers. oh how i wish i could sing like them. but i can't. blegh. can't even carry a tune with a wheelbarrow, but ironically, i'm in band. and i'm still mystify by this weird weird occurance.. was even thinking of joining the Talentime, but everytime i try to sing, i keep getting demoralised by myself.. double blegh.
oh well. yesterday played the cornet. wonderful sound, but not much diff. dunno why suan sen and liza makes a big deal abt how hard is it to play it. hm.. but soon we'll have to ADAPT to the new cornets when it comes.. then i'll have to record the new stuff again.. blegh.

is it really that hard to love? i dunno. i find it real hard for me to express it, and to tell it to people. really. but is that why everyone lamenting over their loss of love? does love really makes the world goes round? well, if u ask me, yes it does, but not entirely.
love can fill a weak lass with strength, and bring a strong man to its knees and cry. it can touch the hearts of million and makes other weep their eyes out. so, love let love.

i love you, truely, madly deeply

Never knew I could feel like this
Like I've never seen the sky before
I want to vanish inside your kiss
Every day i'm loving you more than this
Listen to my heart, can you hear it sings
Telling me to give you everything
Seasons may change, winter to spring
But I love you until the end of time

Chorus:
Come what may
Come what may
I will love you until my dying day

Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place
Suddenly it moves with such a perfect grace
Suddenly my life doesn't seem such a waste
It all revolves around you
And there's no mountain too high
No river too wide
Sing out this song I'll be there by your side
Storm clouds may gather
And stars may collide
But I love you until the end of time


Oh, come what may, come what may
I will love you, I will love you
Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place

Sticks and stones may hurt thy skin, but words can never hurt thy soul?

the power of a word. ouch. obviously mine hurt guangrong, and i'm apologetic for my actions.
but words of others can hurt others too. i know my crude words have stabbed a few, but i'm not alone here.
how many of you reading are guilty of these actions? just tell me.
how many of you have said someone was ugly?
how many of you have said someone was stupid?
how many of you have said someone was fat?(i have)
how many of you have told someone that you never wanted to see him of her anymore cause you're so sick of him?
how many of you have said someone to f*** off and die?

i'm guilty of only one here. i may seem to be crude, mean or things, but i do think of what the person i critsize feels. even though if its for fun, i'll apologise after that. how many times i've been in a bad mood and scolded someone very hard? someone pls count. maybe weijian can help me on that counting bit. no hard feelings to those i've chided. but most of my words do not have the actual meaning. its up to you all to forgive me, or hate me. i've no say. but have the rest of you all thought about the consequences of your words? now i've thought harder. so whatever you all think of me, whether i'm a ruthless scumbag, a stonehearted ass with his foot in his mouth, tell me. i'll take it with a pinch of salt. used to it i guess.

What am I supposed to do
With all these blues
Haunting me, everywhere, no matter what I do
Watching the candle flicker out in the evening glow
I cant let go
When will this night be over

I didn't mean to fall in love with you
And baby there's a name for what you put me through
It isn't love, it's robbery
I'm sleeping with the ghost of you and me

Seen a lot of broken hearts go sailing by
Phantom ships, lost at sea
And one of them is mine
Raising my glass, I sing a toast to the midnight sky
I wonder why
The stars don't seem to guide me

I didn't mean to fall in love with you
And baby there's a name for what you put me through
It isn't love, it's robbery
I'm sleeping with the ghost of you and me

The ghost of you and me
When will it set me free
I hear the voices call
Following footsteps down the hall
Trying to save what's left of my heart and soul

Watching the candle flicker out in the evening glow
I can't let go
When will this night be over

I didn't mean to fall in love with you
And baby there's a name for what you put me through
It isn't love, it's robbery
I'm sleeping with the ghost of you and me

Green..

juz got home not long ago. was sick yesterday but went to the doctor with someone, such a great experience, and i'm feeling so so so much better. thanks again for coming along with me yah? Hee.. Apparently guangrong made juling angry at lunch today. he's up to his childish and irritating antics again. wonder when can he really grow up and reach maturity? prob someone has to slap him and wake him up.

green with envy.
who? well, not really me, but yes at times i am.
at who? well let's just say everyone around me, makes me envy at them.
for starters..
weijian. this 'freaky' buddy of mine, excels in like practically everything he does, esp academically. just look at his A's on his report cards. like wow~ amazing. u wld think that he's the incarnation of einstien or something man. how i envy his grades.
zat. a person of great influence, more or less great advices and nevertheless, give people the impression of being a superman, and a great friend. u can imagine how one can look at him and wonder how he lives? the aura of influence he emits seeps into practically everyone around him. wow.
aaron. i think he has an exceptional talent in music and sports. everytime i watch him play his instrument, its like well, real excellent, to a novice like me that is. but talent is really something i think he really has. not to mention how attractive he is eh??
zhijian. well, he's really very charismatic. he can making friends just like that, snap and poof, hey a freind made. yes we all know he craps a lot but maybe that's how he works his charm?
these are some of the few people i envy my guts out of them, but i wonder if they envy me? i've been thinking, if i could be like them what would i have to give to just be like them for one day? can anyone answer that for me?
(wow. alot of querstons marks in this post.)

In Santa Monica, in the winter time
The lazy streets so undemanding
I walk into the crowd
In Santa Monica, you get your coffee from
The coolest places on the promenade
Where people dress just so
Beauty so unavoidable,
everywhere you turn
It's there
I sit and wonder what am I doing here?

But on the telephone line I am anyone
I am anything I want to be
I could be a supermodel or Norman Mailer
And you wouldn't know the difference
Or would you?

In Santa Monica, all the people got
modern names
Like Jake or Mandy
And modern bodies too
In Santa Monica, on the boulevard,
You'll have to dodge those in-line skaters
Or they'll knock you down
I never felt so lonely,
Never felt so out of place
I never wanted something more than this

But on the telephone line I am anyone
I am anything I want to be
I could be a supermodel or Norman Mailer
And you wouldn't know the difference
On the telephone line, I am any height
I am any age I want to be
I could be a caped crusader, or
space invader
And you would know the difference
Or would you?

Fresh Start for Everyone?

new's year here, new beginnings? sorry for not being able to update, well, mum didn't really allow me to use the com much. anyway, i tried to but something cropped up, which deleted my post, so i didn't bothered about it after that. i was also to caught up in playing Hitman 2: silent assasin. sadistic but fun game. thanks zhi jian for lending me the disc.. for rather his bro.

yesterday was the sec one orientation. played a few songs for the sec ones, i enjoyed latin gold real well, even though the last pt was wrong.. couldn't stay for long due to my chinese tuition. my impression of the sec ones are.. well, not as sporting as the past years.more dead? i dunno. i just hope that they'll not be as stucked up as the former sec ones. year by year, they're getting worse. like getting more and more attitude ya? i tink u may understand what i'm trying to say.
decided to take out the original part here.. didn't seem right. kinda too crap. coz i wrote it when i woke up like only thirty minutes ago.. so here's something new.

just thought about something i said to zat about some people yesterday. why are some people following the others? is it because they don't have a mind of their own? or is it because they want to fit in? or is it because of they idolise the person? i used to be like that, looking up to the older people, trynig to fit in, and trying to follow what's "cool" and not follow what's "not". now i don't. not that i don't look up to the older people, to a certain extend, i do. but i don't follow what everyone do anymore. it depends if its right or wrong. but, i don't see the need to follow some antics that people all do. and yes it is important to hear what others say about you, take the critisism, be a better person, for yourself not for them. so when someone passes a simple comment, like zhijian and zat was discussing the way we walk, there's like no need to get so 'excited' and try to change it?

get my drift people?
and zat, i really really rest my case liao.. you are VERY influential man. "like" geddit?