Have You Ever Been Hated Or Discrimated Against?

no no.. its not a rap song.. its just what i want to say today..

disappointed today. was going to bike with my dad, until, after we pumped up my bike's tire, then we found out it was punctured and must be replaced.. haiz.. no shop were opened on sundays. so disappointed. must get it repaired soon so i can ride at the reservoir~!

have anyone realised how they perceive people? first impression counts, yes, alot, but i guess people got to really get to know the person well enough to judge them eh? i've said this before, but once again i'm harping on this.
for me, first impression really counts. if you're late, sorry, you're on my "go away i'm giving you the cold shoulder" list. then again, i know people shouldn't be doing this, but the face is quite important. but no one i know is really horrible looking, but it does matter to me. i guess i'll call that apperance. i'm serious, i do look out for people apperance before approaching them. who doesn't? tell me if you don't, i'll be really impress by you. but now, after lots of events, i've really learnt to overlook people's apperance and look at the inner beauty. i'm sad to say, that i'm a victim of the society. i follow what people think so not to be left out. then again, i'm trying to stop myself from doing this. i feel real bad and disgusted at myself. that's my new year resolution. stop being a person who looks on the outside and learn to be sensitive to people's feelings. anyway, people out there, i've hope you do think about your doings to other people before you judge them again..

A little Respect..
that's the first song i heard this morning i woke up.

So fast, so fast.. my god~! someone wake me up please~! phew.. what a year~! time is passing so fast this time around, and the new year's coming so freaking soon.. wow. its not only the year, its how fast my life is going past me without me realising anything was going on..it was only like few moments ago i was a little, innocent freshly graduated primary six kiddo, moving on to secondary one. now, i'm going on to sec 4, and the sec 3 year is ending so soon, in just like 4 days? wow again. people are met, and parted like the ground meeting the passing showers..

has anyone ever taken true notice at their mother's face? someone who we look at every single day of our lives? wad abt ur best friend? how much do you tink you know their apperances by heart? what i'm trying to say here is not to take anyone in your life for granted. haven't all of us in a way or another done tt? people are sometimes too contented in their own tiny little world that they think everyting that is given to them is rightfully theirs, and thus taking it for granted. i'm glad to say i'm not one of these people. once again i stress i'm not critisizing any one ok? like us quote an example.(again)

Zat. since Anthony Chew has left our band after our great rejection to him, zat has been putting it alot of effort to pull our band together. he's not paid or neither he has any benifits, yet he's doing this to help us? what does he ask in return? i tink its only respect and attention during the practices. but, there are some ungratefuls who still moan and groan about his teaching, and other stuff. i tink he deserves the respect. he could be having a good time outside with his other friends yet he's here, not called upon by anyone to instruct us. i'm not saying these because he's my friend, but because he deserves it. all of it. yes, anyone has a right to dislike anyone they want, but give the respect when its due? i don't like some of our teachers, but i still give them the respect they deserve. i give weijian, my best brother the respect he deserves during band practices, i gave zhijian the respect during drills. its not given by me actually, its earned by all of them.

God, i'm running out of things to say..

Wheatus - A Little Respect
I tried to discover a little something to make me sweeter;
Oh baby refrain from breaking my heart;
I'm so in love with you;
I'll be forever blue;
That you give me no reason, you know you're making me work so hard;
That you give me no . . .
Soul; I hear you calling;
Oh baby please give a little respect to me.
And if I should falter, would you open your arms out to me?
We can make love not war, and live in peace with our hearts;
I'm so in love with you;
I'll be forever blue;
What religion or reason could drive a man to forsake his lover? Don't you tell me no. . .
Soul. I hear you calling;
Oh baby please, give a little respect to me.I'm so in love with you;
I'll be forever blue; That you give me no reason, you know you're making me work so hard;
That you give me no.
Soul. I hear you calling. Oh baby, please give a little respect to me. Oh baby, please give a little respect to me.

Merry Christmas To All~

Ah... what a christmas i'm having. mum and dad's at work, sis is still slping, while i'm alone accompanied by mosquitoes.. haiz. great christmas eh? i'm suppose to be doing my geography homework, the one and only homework i am going to do this holidays.. heh. well i guess my topic today, has no attack on anyone, its just a though that crossed my mind,

Lies

have anyone wondered the kind of lies and amount of lies everyone tells daily? children tell lies to avoid being scolded by their moms, students tell lies to cover up their undone homework(sounds like me), adults tell lies to "explain" their reason for being late at work such and such. no matter how small the lie, its still a lie rite? can we consider white lies as excusables? or are all lies a sin?i've wondered lots of times, whether the oh great mighty teacher, who tells us not to tell lies, are telling lies themselves when they say that the holidays homework are essential, or what we're studying will be used in our furture work, when less than 10% of what we've studied will be used, and that is only the wrting, spelling and basic counting. now i'm getting more and more reluctant to do my homework... all those liars.. poke their eyes ah.. anyway, this is a very boring christmas, i've rather be in band, or spending it with someone else... anyway, i just, all my friends are right. there is a rainbow after the storm..

It's kinda funny
How life can change
Can flip 180 in a matta of days

Sometimes love works in
Mystertious ways
One day you wake up
Gone without a trace

I refuse to give up
I refuse to give in
You're my everything
I don't wanna give up
I don't wanna give in
So everybody sing

One love, for the mothers prider
One love, for the times we cried
One love, gotta stay alive... I will survive

One love, for the city streets
One love for the hip hop beats
Oh I do believe
One love is all we need

The first time I am dreading Christmas..

Christmas Eve, a time when family come together and gather, be happy and sorts. well, this ain't going to be the scenario at my home. what do u expect? my parents are not celebrating christmas, coz to them, its just another day of the year.. well, thats the reason why i rarely give out gifts to people. its like, i dun even give my parents gifts, why should i give others? it wil be like my parents giving them the gifts as the money's their after all, isn't it? but at least i'm giving out cards.. even though they're well.. late. hey, i wun be seeing my friends on Christmas right?? that's why i spent my afternoon writing cards and packing my room.. not feeling too chrismassy now though. instead of turkey, i'm having bacon..

why, you may ask about my topic at the top is that? well, its only at midnight, i'm going to get my answer... which may either good or bad.. i really hope i won't have to spend this christmas being sad. then maybe , i can sing weijian's favourite song over and over again rite? Last christmas.. i gave you my heart... oops.. i can see ppl cringing already. i'm really hoping that i won't be hearing bad news ya? Christmas. haiz. is it really a season to be jolly? i ain't feeling jolly now though. hm.. only 5 more hours till the "judgement". wish me luck people. my inside is itching.. is it anticipation, or dread? like Enya says, only time will tell.. but will it heal all wounds?

another song for you people.. merry christmas~ enjoy this festive season, and spend it well with your loved ones,

Last Christmas
I gave you my heart
But the very next day you gave it away
This year
To save me from tears
I'll give it to someone special

Once bitten and twice shy
I keep my distance
But you still catch my eye
Tell me baby
Do you recognize me?
Well it's been a year
It doesn't surprise me
Happy Christmas
I wrapped it up and sent it
With the letters saying "I love you"
I meant it
Now I know what a fool I've been
But if you kissed me now
I know you'd fool me again

A crowded room
Friends with tired eyes
I'm hiding from you
And your soul of ice
My god I thought you were
Someone to rely on
Me?
I guess I was a shoulder to cry on
A face on a lover with a fire in his heart
A man under cover but you tore me apart
Now I've found a real love you'll never fool me again

2 days left, not only to Christmas..

Just had dinner, had my favourite(someone oughta know what is it..). thought about what audrey, vivian, weijian and i were talking about over lunch. Telephone calls.

Sir Alexander Graham Bell invented this conception, i wonder, either to help or hinder mankind. long long time ago, before the phone was invented, when children had to arrange a meeting or outing, they would cycle over to their friend's place, arrange and then return. lovers would write long soppy love letters to each other, only to receive them 3 days later. then, children grew up into adults without much fuss. from what the "Teenage Textbook" says, the teenager was invented along with the telephone. teenagers, are rather comfortable with the telephone, not rarely seen with the phone glued to their ears for countless hours. Then came along sms. now this is getting worse, for me at least. even though it makes the message across, but the real meaning and expression is hidden. i feel that sms has really made our distance further than what it has been. but the phone has brought us closer, to hear the cheerful laughter, rather than the " hahah". haiz.. now i crave to either see her name flash across my inbox after "1 message received". i crave to hear the " hello is Rickson there?" i once heard.. i hope they won't stop coming,esp after christmas..

anyway, went to school for a psl meeting for which i was late, and then i went to band, and cleaned the condemmed instruments. my god, they lookd so new after we scrubbed the grime and yuk out of them. special thanks to Samuel, Audrey, Vivian, Weilang and Zat. the others shloud have seen the amount of flith in them~! haha.. now i'm thinking of having an instrument cleanup soon.. so ppl, esp Section leaders, please tell your members to come for practise, or else the Sls would have to clean the instrument for them wor... not joking now...

I know your eyes in the moring sun
I feel you touch me in the pouring rain
And the moment that you wander far from me
I wanna feel you in my arms again
and you come to me on a summer breeze
Keep me warm in your love, then you softly leave
and it's me you need to show

*How deep is your love, how deep is your love
I really mean to learn
'Cause we're living in a world of fools
Breaking us down when they all should let us be
We belong to you and me

I believe in you
You know the door to my very soul
You're the light in my deepest, darkest hour
You're my savior when I fall
And you may not think that I care for you
When you know down inside that I really do
And it's me you need to show...

Confused, sad and tired..

Questions are flooding my mind now, why? when? what? who and how?

Why, have this happened?
When, are we going to be able to be able to talk normally without problems?
What, are we going do after christmas?
Who, am i going to consult after this?
How, am i going to prevent any of these incidents form happening again?

people are getting really hard to get along with now.. conflicts' the word here. i guess she's rite, we belong to 2 differrent worlds, that can never be together. i really miss her now... i wonder why has this happen to lead to today. i guess you can't please everyone. there has to be a few that still does not appreciate what you do, or still feels that there's no good in a person. no matter how bad a person is, there's always good inside him.

let me quote an example.

GuangRong. i used to think he was a very irritating person who had no respect for the opposite sex or what so ever. but during the psl camp, i realised that he actually is a nice guy really, and is a reallly good friend and fun person to be with, even though he does go overboard with his antics. i've said a lot of mean things about him, but only to regret it now. i hope he'll forgive me. i gotta control my straightfowardness and crude remarks. i just everyone has to understand each other better before making a verdict on the subject. with understanding, den there'll be acceptance.i have accepted alot of ppl who are different from me, and made friends with them, some are even my best friends..

hope i'll sleep well tonite.. i miss you a lot do you know that??
and zat, pls get over it, you have enough guilt for one day. you are forgiven liao so get on k? see ya tml at the meeting~

Remorse..Deep Regret..

I've never though all this would have happen..why? do you know how my heart aches to hear you cry, and be so sad and hurt? all i wanted was just to see harmony, now i see a situiation worse then ever.. i am sorry, for everything dat has happen. now, i realised the person who said the truth hurts, was really right. its hurts .. deep down.. i don't want it to be over, after we've tried and built up this wonderous relationship. how could ever a person come between us to end this for us? please consider over and over again.. history is repeating..i wonder is my heart bleeding now..right now, i know i still love her, now, then and forever. so whatever your decision be, i'll still be loving you.

zat, i know u've never wanted this to happen too, but pls, do stop whatever you're saying now.. its hurting me too. leave them alone,pls? i'll really appreciate it. thanks alot bro.

Can ignorance be bliss... i wonder.

this song is only for you..

I wanna make you smile whenever you're sad.
Carry you around when your arthritis is bad.
Oh, all I wanna do is grow old with you.
I'll get you medicine when your tummy aches,
Build you a fire if the furnace breaks.
Oh, it could be so nice growing old with you.
I'll miss you, kiss you,
Give you my coat when you are cold,
Need you, feed you, even let you hold the remote control.
So let me do the dishes in our kitchen sink.
Put you to bed when you've had too much to drink.
Oh, I could be the man who grows old with you.
I wanna grow old with you.

I never hate, juz irritated at, get that clear first?

whew.. juz reutrned from a hectic day in band.. and i didn't even touched my instrument~! wad the hell is going on?? the deputy prob is still at large, and made worse by a group.

i juz don't understand. What are wrong with them? i not angry, juz really really irritated. its like, its alright to have a gang, a group to belong to, but being overly attached to the group is kind of overboard? we're out on a outing to a concert, and they juz stick to themselves, leaving the rest of the world to hell knows wad will happen to them? yes, some one in the group maybe dislike other from the whole crowd, but no one is forcing you to talk to him or her?? just ignore him or her and all will be fine won't it? and the oldest there is not trying to bring the group together, although she shld know better to follow? pls i repeat strongly, i am not disliking the people in question, but juz expressing my feelings.really.. i dun dislike any of you, esp not you mal. pls forgive me for this k?

i'm torn between, inside and all over.
how would you feel, if you had to choose between your loved one and your best buddies? i know she has her friends too, and i don't like to seperate her from her best buddies. this is really a Deja Vu from a particular Shakespearean(correctly spelled?) play..the feeling of yearing to be with her, yet you can't, due to differences. Why are people are seperated by all these personality conflicts? i need an answer.. i can understand her needs and ways of doings, but i just want to see harmony between all of us, not dividence. can't everyone understand that no one is perfect and everyone has flaws? that includes me. i have to learn that jonathan does not really want to be hated or left out, and he has his reasons for all his weird ways.. i am apologetic for saying all those bad things about him, even though i was not the one who initiated this break of friendship. we have to learn that we must accept all the differences to acheive a particular goal we are aiming for. sometimes i just wonder being mister nice guy, will be taken advantage of? like zat said, nice guys finish last. how true?

then again, i'll always look on the bright side of life, remembering all those who care for me, and tomorrow will be a better day. cheer up yo won't i?

You'll Never Walk Alone

When you walk through the storm
Hold your head up high
And don't be afraid the the dark.
At the end of the storm
Is the golden sky
And the sweet silver song of the lark.
Walk on through the wind
Walk on through the rain
And though
Your dreams be tossed and turned,
Walk on, walk on
With hope in your heart
And you'll never walk alone
You'll never walk alone~

Elvis Presly

How true is that song? given by my tuition classmate, Michael.
Hope this inspires anyone out there

Yes.. finally after much persuading and pestering by Mr Nurzatiman, here i am with a blog, joining the gang of bloggers.. which includes my sis who refuses to help mi, coz she says i'm being mean??? yah yah like wadever.. but tis is kinda interesting, i've so much to say, yet so.. lil time.
let's juz start with yesterday.
i was juz assigned the post of a quarter master, Senior Quarter Master, mind u.. not trying to show off, but its like kinda new for me as i've never got to any tasks closer to a q.m den writing down accesory list to give to the former quarter masters. hope they'll give mi a hand at this totally new task. i'm suppose to have an assistant, or deputy, yet i've still have no idea who to ask. kinda in a stuck position...
oh yeah, i've promised to say this when i get a blog, and i shall.

Ego.
The pride of man, or sometimes, the bane to some. some ppl are so blinded by their ego, or are so full of it, that they totally think that it would be degrading to just ask someone younger den them a simple question?? very irritating. can't these ppl juz swallow their pride and eat the humble pie and not be so sterotyped by tinking that seniors are always the best, cleverest and the ones that always shld be with the best positions? maybe i'm deflating those with their over swelled head egoistics out there, but this is the truth wad i tink abt them.
P.s, i'm not attacking indivduals, but the collective egoists.

Abit too much for the 1st post eh??